Author's note: I wasn't ready to write about weight loss surgery before I had actually been under the knife. I still wasn't confident to publish until after I had seen some results. This is my story. It was basically my diary in the days leading up to my sleeve gastrectomy. I hope someone that reads this can identify.
Feb. 22, 2016
There's a great divide in the Bariatric community about who to tell about your surgery and when to tell it. There are a small faction of surgery deniers out there. They skulk in the shadows of support groups, usually under false names and facebook profiles. They proudly post their before and after shots but the reason behind those fabulous transformations exists only in the virtual walls of that support group. Their closest relatives may know about their surgery but the outside world at large never knows. They assume the denier has found some magical secret trick to dieting... which, I guess, is partly true. But, to me, to leave out the part that you had a life altering surgery when asked the famous "What are you doing?" is a bit misleading.
The second faction is the over-sharer. This is the person that starts telling EVERYONE from facebook friends to postal worker that they are having weight loss surgery. They start telling everyone as soon as they make the decision; probably not realizing that even best case scenario the wait time is at least 4-6 months from deciding to surgery day. They post pics of their meals and their fit bit screen shots and their weekly transformation pic collages are always cluttering up your news feed. There's some sound thinking in that too, I guess, knowing that people are expecting great things can keep you accountable.
I consider myself to be part of the third faction. I'm not really shouting it from the rooftops. My family all knows that I am working toward surgery. Some of my church family knows. A few friends know. Other than that I've kept to myself. At least I have during the approval process. I'm planning on just being honest. If someone tells me I'm looking great, I'm just going to say thank you. If some one asks me "what are you doing?" I will probably tell them. I just don't want to get into a debate with an almost-stranger about the benefits and risks of weight loss surgery. I don't want to mislead anyone into thinking that I magically obtained the miracle solution to my obesity either.
People are judgy. People judge you if you are fat. They treat you differently when you are obese. But, strangely enough people are also judgy when you try to do something to combat your obesity. They giggle at you when you are on the elliptical at the gym. They stare when you are at the walking track. But fat people are judgy too. Maybe they're more jealous than judgy. It's one or both. I think they envy the courage that a decision to cut out part of your stomach takes. I think they envy the fact that we are brave enough to step back from our addictions and face that we have a problem. I used to be that person. Anytime anyone suggested that I look in to having WLS I would lash out with anger. I accused people of taking the easy way out. Now, I realize that this way isn't easy at all. I will be fighting my addiction to food for the rest of my life. I will have this surgery as a tool to help me fight. I tried for 15 years to beat my obesity on my own. I can't do this on my own anymore.
Personal update! As I was writing this today I received a phone call from my surgeon and my date is set for March 15! My birthday is Wednesday and this surgery is the best way I can think of to start my 34th year! It's gonna give me many, many more birthdays and for that I can't wait!!
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