Since I've started organizing and jotting down my thoughts on this page I have noticed that I pick up on little things in my day to day life and think, "oooh! I can write about that." I'll start the first paragraph off in my head and then by the time I sit down at the keyboard I can't remember what the inspiration was or where I was going to go with it. My six year old tells me my brain is "mixed up."
I suppose she's right. I once read in a parenting magazine that after you become a mother, a quarter of your brain function is always focused on that child whether you realize it or not. Like mothers are always subconsciously aware of where their child is, whether or not they are hungry, whether they need a bath, whether or not they are safe. It's a constant replay in the back of our maternal brains. This may be absolute hooey but I tend to agree, based on my own mental decline since the births of my three.
I even wonder sometimes if the amount of brain function dedicated to children increases along with each child you have. My mother had four. If you "lose" a quarter for each child that you have... well, you do the math. So I guess, considering we all were raised to adulthood and she's not in an institution (yet) that you retain a little bit of your brain no matter how many children you have. I will say this, I see some mothers of five or six that seem to have it more together than those with one, or me, with three, so maybe it's just a myth. Regardless, I will continue to use it as my excuse when a six year old tells me that I'm losing it.
Which brings me back to what I sat down to write about in the first place. With parenting there are lots of times when you can take the lazy approach and use the "Do as I say, Not as I do."- approach. Any seasoned parent will tell you that this won't work in the long run. It really, always, comes back to haunt you. Our pastor talked about spiritual parents last night and there's a verse in Corinthians that really hit home with me.
Paul was writing to the church at Corinth and was getting around (in that eloquent way that Paul had) to jerking them up by the collar. They were really heading down the wrong path. Since Paul had led most of these people to Jesus he felt responsible for them in their spiritual walk. He was their spiritual father. So when he heard that they were doing wrong he reached out. He corrected them. But before he got around to the individual offenses he told them to imitate him (1 Cor 4:16).
I'm sitting there and Pastor John is moving on with our Bible study and all I can think is "Wow!" How many of us are so self assured in our own walk with Jesus that we can ask other believers to watch us and do as we do. I'm sure Paul was. He wrote a lot about his change and his new life. He was so sure that he was doing what God intended for his life that he encouraged his pupils to imitate him. He was also sure that Timothy, the young protege, would be a good example to them as well. Sure enough, that he sent Timothy in his stead.
Now, I'm no Paul. I'm no pastor. I'm still a work in progress, but this one simple verse has inspired me to hold my life to a higher standard. I want to be a Christian that my children can imitate. I pray that other Christians will hold me accountable and lead me in the right direction. We have to look out for each other, we have to make sure that there are no dark corners in our lives. We have to lead lives filled with grace and free of sin. We need to be pure enough that our own spiritual children, the ones that we lead to Christ, can imitate us on their own journey with God.
It's a HUGE responsibility. It's a day by day commitment. It's not going to be easy for me. Especially since my brain is mixed up and all, but I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it for Sam, and Nolan, and Emily, and I'm going to do it for Heather. No matter how much of my brain is occupied else where, I can rest assured that God is working on part of it too. He will teach me until I am ready, and he won't give up until I am blameless.
"I always thank my God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus. For in Him you have been enriched in every way - with all kinds of speech and with all knowledge-- God thus confirming our testimony about Christ among you. Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. He will also keep you firm to the end. So that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ."
1 Corinthians 1:4-8
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