I am 33 today. And I guess I'm a little sad.
So since it's my birthday I've been thinking all day about stuff that I've learned and things that I want to teach my children. They will roll their eyes if I read this to them now. So why not make a list and leave it here in cyberspace for future reference. Maybe one day they'll look me up and read what I write and it will make more sense to them. Happy birthday to me. Here's 33 things that I've learned were important in my 33 years....
- Listen to your mother. My mother is usually right about stuff. She'll love this one, but it's true. She told me not to take my whole allowance to school in the 7th grade (I ignored her and my wallet got stolen). She told me to dress like a lady and not wear the black lacy bra under the white button up shirt (I ignored her and ended up pregnant). She's told me many things about raising my own children and although I still hate to admit it, she's usually right.
- Answer the phone when your grandmother calls. Even if you are in the season of life that makes you think that you don't have time to talk to a crazy old lady... No One is THAT busy. Stop what you are doing and talk to the woman who loves you more than anything else in her world. She won't be there forever. You'll desperately want to talk to her one day and she won't be there to answer.
- Read to you children while they are young enough to love it. This is another one of those things that Mama told me to do. See number one. I'm on my last baby now. She still lets me read, but she's learning to take the book away and read on her own. I do the voices better. I like to hear her giggle.
- Nothing good happens after midnight. Ever. Even as an adult. Come home. It's not worth it, take my word on this.
- Read your Bible. Even when you don't feel like it. Even when you are tired or you are busy or you feel like you have better things to do. Read it and cherish it. I promise you won't be sorry.
- Learn to cook. It's not hard and it's not beneath you. It's therapy. It will make you happy to feed your family something that only you can cook. When they refuse someone else's recipe because it's just not like yours, you will be happy.
- Don't take marriage lightly. It's not always about fairytale love. Marriage is a responsibility. It's a hard job but it is worth the effort. Don't give up on your spouse.
- To my sons: Respect women. Open doors for them, walk them to their doors, respect their boundaries, treat them like ladies. Take your hat off at the dinner table.
- Put the phone down. You are not that important. I am actively trying to work on this and I hope that when my children remember me in their youth they don't remember trying to win my attention away from my cell phone.
- Play. Get outside and throw a Frisbee. Play fetch with the dog. Play tag or chase. Make someone giggle.
- Learn to express yourself. Sing, write, play an instrument... do something that makes you happy and gives you self worth. Take time for yourself and always seek to make yourself a better person.
- Accept that you are not perfect. You will never be perfect none of us are. There will always be someone out there that does something better than you. Accept that, rise to the challenge, or accept it.
- Never forget where you came from. Be proud of your home. Never shy away from your roots. People will try to make you feel ashamed of being southern, or country, or back woods. They are wrong. Never let them make you feel ashamed. Be proud.
- Learn to admit when you are wrong. Do not carry grudges. It's not worth the headache or the anxiety. It's so much more pleasant to get along with people.
- Don't post anything on social media unless you want it to follow you for the rest of your life. That includes your snaps and vines and tweets that you think I don't know about now. I know. I'm watching.
- Love your siblings. They'll be your best friends when you are older. Make time for them now. Make memories together.
- Go to church. Even when you don't want to. Even when you stay out too late on Saturday night. Even when you have small children of your own. Even when you are in college or newly married. Find a church and go to church. The church will be your family when your own family is not around. Going to church will keep you centered and focused on where you should take your life. Go to church.
- Don't procrastinate. It's so much better to plan and have things done on time. Don't wait until the last minute for the school or work project.
- Sing at the top of your lungs in the car whenever you can. When you have children they will cry and hold their hands over their ears and beg you to stop. Don't stop. Sing louder.
- Always keep someone in your life that holds you accountable, that encourages you, that isn't afraid to bring you back to reality. (See number 16.)
- Self control is important. Be it food or alcohol or work or TV or video games. Learn to tell yourself no and to stop yourself from over indulgence. Everything in moderation. (something I'm still working on)
- Don't swear. It isn't funny and it certainly isn't cute. It doesn't make you seem cool. It makes you seem shallow and rude and it makes other people uncomfortable.
- Read books. Read the ones your English teachers tell you to read. Read as many of the classics as you can. Never stop reading.
- Don't rush into physical intimacy. You are young. You only have one first kiss. Don't waste it on some jerk that will make you shudder when you think back on it in the future. Boys don't be the jerk that makes some girl shudder when she thinks back on you. You are very, very, young and no matter what your friends are saying it's not that good when you are a teenager and it is worth it for you to wait until you can share it with your God called partner.
- Never get a credit card. NEVER EVER EVER get a credit card. If you don't have the money for it, don't buy it. If you wouldn't ask someone you love to loan you the money for it, you don't need it. If you can go a month without it, you don't need it. Never, ever, get a credit card.
- Never use tobacco.Don't smoke it, dip it, or chew it. It's gross in any form.
- Don't do drugs. They destroy families and they destroy lives. They, too, are gross... I'm paying good money for your dental hygiene... don't smoke something that will mess that up.
- Get a job that makes you happy. Don't stay in a job that makes you miserable. Seek Godly counsel in your career. However, if you are in a job that you don't like, do it with a joyful heart and always do your best work.
- Go to college. I worked through community college with two babies in diapers. There is no excuse for not getting an education.
- Take time, every day, and pray. Spend time alone, just you and God and seek His guidance in your life. Prepare yourself to be a witness to others. The time you spend with God every day will help you with this.
- Get a dog.... or a cat. Always have a companion that depends on you and makes your life better.
- Be adventurous. Be braver than I have been. Take trips and risks and do crazy stuff that I would never do because I want you to be twice as brave as I ever hoped to be. Just be sure to call me and tell me all about it.
- Have cake on your birthday. Make sure your kids always have cake on their birthdays. Make one day a year all about you and make it special every single time.
I'm sure I could think of more. I hope that some of these have already been ingrained in my children's memories. I want to raise happy, healthy, educated, respectful, Christian adults... that's all I want for any of my birthdays. Here's to year 33.
