WLS Journal Part 10: Surviving Vacation Food and a Non-Scale Victory

Big news this week. I hit my first major goal weight. Yesterday morning I stepped on the scale and saw 250.0. I have not seen those numbers since my youngest child was a toddler. It feels SO good. 84 pounds gone forever. What feels even better was that this number presented itself to me after 11 days of vacationing in the Smoky Mountains and celebrating the 4th of July holiday with family and friends. 

"How was your vacation? Where did y'all eat?" That pretty much sums up how important food is to an average vacation in the south. I was pretty nervous about this going into our trip. Food is still fun and important to the rest of my family. I didn't want to be the stick in the mud that chugs a protein shake and says, "lets not go out tonight, let's all stay here and eat nuts and cheese." This is my life now. They live with the nuts and cheese girl every night of their lives... when they are on vacation they want the old Heather back. 

So, I had to stuff the new healthy me back into her shell for a little while and go out to eat practically every night for seven nights straight. It was a huge learning experience for me. I've eaten out several times since surgery but usually at restaurants that I know. I have a pretty good idea of what I'm going to eat before I walk through the door. This wasn't the case in the life of "lets drive around until we see something good." But, I survived.

Here's a few things I learned:

1. Order water, or no beverage at all. It saves you money on the bill and you aren't going to drink it anyway so get the free. When you don't order a drink you get a crazy look from the server so I just get water and let it sit.
2. Ask about the kids menu. Some places seriously don't mind if you order a child's plate. If it's in giant bold type on the menu that child prices are ONLY FOR CHILDREN UNDER 10 WITH BIRTH CERTIFICATES or whatever then, no, don't even go there. Some places are more reasonable than others and you just kind of get the vibe. Downside to kids plates is that typically they are the most unhealthy things on the menu. I don't want chicken strips and fries. So usually I order the grown up plate and expect to take it with me. 
3. Skip the salad if you order a big entree. I know salads are healthy but if you waste your three bites on leafy greens then your spouse is going to be really mad that you ordered that $40 steak. 
4. Order the best cut of meat on the menu. If you only get three bites make them count. 
5. Portions are HUGE. Don't comment to the rest of your dining companions about how much they are eating. On a related note, don't order the salad off the dinner menu because they literally bring you enough to feed you for three weeks.
6. Slow down. Seriously. Restaurants, especially in touristy places, want to rush you out the door so they can make room for the next patrons. Don't let them do this. Chew til you are tired of chewing and put your fork down between bites. They'll wait. Your family will wait. Enjoy your meal but don't rush.
7. Skip the chips at the Mexican place. 
8. Try not to push your leftovers on your spouse. It's hard but you don't want them to overeat just because you can't anymore. Get the to go box and enjoy your meal another time or two after you leave.
9. Trust your pouch. Your tummy is designed to restrict your eating. Don't try to eat around your restriction. Don't drink with meals. Listen to your body and let your new tummy do it's job.
10. Protein first, always. If you want to splurge on a bite of something Carb-filled and delicious you can, but always eat your chicken, beef, fish, or pork first. 

I didn't always abide by my own advice, but I know now what to expect the next time. I took protein filled snacks with us everywhere we went. The kids and husband enjoyed them just as much as I did. They didn't miss the chips and chex mix that usually accompany our road trips. I packed my protein shakes and had one every morning to stay ahead of the cravings. It wasn't as bad as I worried it would be. 

A bonus to the location of our vacation was that it was centered on getting out and moving. We hiked, tubed in the rivers, swam in the mountain creeks, we did a LOT of walking and I was able to do all of those things because of this surgery and the weight loss that followed. 

My journey so far... from 314 pounds on the left to 250 pounds on the far right.  Always document your journey with photos, you won't regret it.

I have to share we were at a river near Townsend, TN. We had been there for a few hours and were sitting to dry off before we left. I watched a family come down the bank to the rocky beach area and couldn't help but notice the mom bringing up the rear. She was obese. She was cautious about every step. She couldn't keep up with her family and in their excitement they had left her behind. They jumped from rock to rock as they looked for their perfect place to unload their gear. She started to follow them but as she stepped up on the first rock she groaned with what I'm assuming was knee pain. She stepped back down and called for them to go on without her. She put down her towel and sat there, out of breath. She watched her family from afar as they laughed and played. She took pictures and was in none of them. She had on a swimsuit under her cover up but she never took off the cover. She smiled at her kids and her husband but I could see the sadness and regret behind the smile.

I noticed all of this because this woman was me a year ago. I was the mother that watched from the safe spot because I didn't trust my gigantic body to be able to make it out to where the action was. I was hidden under a hot cover up because I was ashamed and worried about what everyone else would think if I took it off. I don't want to miss out on life anymore because of what this disease called obesity does to my body. I'm going to fight every day to not be the mom that can't get out with her kids. 

My husband and I this year versus our anniversary trip to the mountains two years ago. We have lost a combined total of 150 pounds since the pic on the right. I couldn't have ever come as far as I have without his support and encouragement along the way.

On a lighter note after all that fun and food and laziness that vacation brings I came home and weighed in 3.5 pounds lighter, even after the holiday weekend. I probably could have lost more if I had been more diligent about exercising and what I was eating but I'm claiming it as a win. 250 has loomed out of my reach for so many years and now I can't wait to NEVER see it on the scale again. Onederland (for those of you that aren't in the WLS community that's what we call weighing in less than 200s) is in my sites and I can't wait!!

33 Things Worth Remembering in 33 Years

33 years. It's hard for me to believe. 33 seemed old when I was a kid. It was almost unreachable. Now here I am with three kids, one who's taller than I am now. I feel like time is slipping through my hands. When they were little the days were so long and I longed for some time just to sit and think.... now it seems I have more and more quiet times and I miss their toddler giggles.

I am 33 today. And I guess I'm a little sad.

So since it's my birthday I've been thinking all day about stuff that I've learned and things that I want to teach my children. They will roll their eyes if I read this to them now. So why not make a list and leave it here in cyberspace for future reference. Maybe one day they'll look me up and read what I write and it will make more sense to them. Happy birthday to me. Here's 33 things that I've learned were important in my 33 years....

1.  Listen to your mother. My mother is usually right about stuff. She'll love this one, but it's true. She told me not to take my whole allowance to school in the 7th grade (I ignored her and my wallet got stolen). She told me to dress like a lady and not wear the black lacy bra under the white button up shirt (I ignored her and ended up pregnant). She's told me many things about raising my own children and although I still hate to admit it, she's usually right.
2. Answer the phone when your grandmother calls. Even if you are in the season of life that makes you think that you don't have time to talk to a crazy old lady... No One is THAT busy. Stop what you are doing and talk to the woman who loves you more than anything else in her world. She won't be there forever. You'll desperately want to talk to her one day and she won't be there to answer.
3. Read to you children while they are young enough to love it. This is another one of those things that Mama told me to do. See number one. I'm on my last baby now. She still lets me read, but she's learning to take the book away and read on her own. I do the voices better. I like to hear her giggle. 
4. Nothing good happens after midnight. Ever. Even as an adult. Come home. It's not worth it, take my word on this.
5. Read your Bible. Even when you don't feel like it. Even when you are tired or you are busy or you feel like you have better things to do. Read it and cherish it. I promise you won't be sorry.
6. Learn to cook. It's not hard and it's not beneath you. It's therapy. It will make you happy to feed your family something that only you can cook. When they refuse someone else's recipe because it's just not like yours, you will be happy.
7. Don't take marriage lightly. It's not always about fairytale love. Marriage is a responsibility. It's a hard job but it is worth the effort. Don't give up on your spouse.
8. To my sons: Respect women. Open doors for them, walk them to their doors, respect their boundaries, treat them like ladies. Take your hat off at the dinner table. 
9. Put the phone down. You are not that important. I am actively trying to work on this and I hope that when my children remember me in their youth they don't remember trying to win my attention away from my cell phone. 
10. Play. Get outside and throw a Frisbee. Play fetch with the dog. Play tag or chase. Make someone giggle.
11. Learn to express yourself. Sing, write, play an instrument... do something that makes you happy and gives you self worth. Take time for yourself and always seek to make yourself a better person.
12. Accept that you are not perfect. You will never be perfect none of us are. There will always be someone out there that does something better than you. Accept that, rise to the challenge, or accept it.
13. Never forget where you came from. Be proud of your home. Never shy away from your roots. People will try to make you feel ashamed of being southern, or country, or back woods. They are wrong. Never let them make you feel ashamed. Be proud.
14. Learn to admit when you are wrong. Do not carry grudges. It's not worth the headache or the anxiety. It's so much more pleasant to get along with people. 
15. Don't post anything on social media unless you want it to follow you for the rest of your life. That includes your snaps and vines and tweets that you think I don't know about now. I know. I'm watching.
16. Love your siblings. They'll be your best friends when you are older. Make time for them now. Make memories together. 
17. Go to church. Even when you don't want to. Even when you stay out too late on Saturday night. Even when you have small children of your own. Even when you are in college or newly married. Find a church and go to church. The church will be your family when your own family is not around. Going to church will keep you centered and focused on where you should take your life. Go to church.
18. Don't procrastinate. It's so much better to plan and have things done on time. Don't wait until the last minute for the school or work project. 
19. Sing at the top of your lungs in the car whenever you can. When you have children they will cry and hold their hands over their ears and beg you to stop. Don't stop. Sing louder.
20. Always keep someone in your life that holds you accountable, that encourages you, that isn't afraid to bring you back to reality. (See number 16.)
21. Self control is important. Be it food or alcohol or work or TV or video games. Learn to tell yourself no and to stop yourself from over indulgence. Everything in moderation. (something I'm still working on)
22. Don't swear. It isn't funny and it certainly isn't cute. It doesn't make you seem cool. It makes you seem shallow and rude and it makes other people uncomfortable. 
23.  Read books. Read the ones your English teachers tell you to read. Read as many of the classics as you can. Never stop reading.
24. Don't rush into physical intimacy. You are young. You only have one first kiss. Don't waste it on some jerk that will make you shudder when you think back on it in the future. Boys don't be the jerk that makes some girl shudder when she thinks back on you. You are very, very, young and no matter what your friends are saying it's not that good when you are a teenager and it is worth it for you to wait until you can share it with your God called partner. 
25. Never get a credit card. NEVER EVER EVER get a credit card. If you don't have the money for it, don't buy it. If you wouldn't ask someone you love to loan you the money for it, you don't need it. If you can go a month without it, you don't need it. Never, ever, get a credit card. 
26. Never use tobacco.Don't smoke it, dip it, or chew it. It's gross in any form.
27. Don't do drugs. They destroy families and they destroy lives. They, too, are gross... I'm paying good money for your dental hygiene... don't smoke something that will mess that up.
28. Get a job that makes you happy. Don't stay in a job that makes you miserable. Seek Godly counsel in your career. However, if you are in a job that you don't like, do it with a joyful heart and always do your best work. 
29. Go to college. I worked through community college with two babies in diapers. There is no excuse for not getting an education. 
30. Take time, every day, and pray. Spend time alone, just you and God and seek His guidance in your life. Prepare yourself to be a witness to others. The time you spend with God every day will help you with this.
31. Get a dog.... or a cat. Always have a companion that depends on you and makes your life better.
32. Be adventurous. Be braver than I have been. Take trips and risks and do crazy stuff that I would never do because I want you to be twice as brave as I ever hoped to be. Just be sure to call me and tell me all about it. 
33. Have cake on your birthday. Make sure your kids always have cake on their birthdays. Make one day a year all about you and make it special every single time.

I'm sure I could think of more. I hope that some of these have already been ingrained in my children's memories. I want to raise happy, healthy, educated, respectful, Christian adults... that's all I want for any of my birthdays. Here's to year 33. 

First day of school...

We started a new school year today. I'm sure most of you have already gone through this. If you haven't I'm sure you are going to go through it soon. The excitement level varies, I'm sure, with every child, but I was struck at how my own children have changed through the years.

I called up to wake up my oldest child first. His room is closest to mine and I called him on my way to wake up the others. He's 14 now. He's a Freshman in high school. It's a big year for him. He mumbled something after I called him a couple of times and I thought he might be awake. I moved on.

Middle child isn't that difficult. I call to him and he answers. He sits up in bed. I'm pretty sure I see him lay back down out of the corner of my eye before I walk by, but I'm re-insured by his exuberance (compared to the other one) and I move on to the next child.

Youngest child is easy. I gently say her name. I whisper "first day of school" into her sweet tiny ear and she gasps before she opens her eyes. As her eyes pop open she smiles and says "I can't believe it's time for first grade!" She continues as she stands up on the bed, "I'm so excited about the first day of school! I love school! I can't wait to see my teacher!" She hops on the bed. "Mama, get my stripey dress and my pink flip flops! You have to spray my hair. Mama, I can't believe school starts to day. Mama, I'm soooo excited about first grade!" She follows me back down to the kitchen and never stops her monologue.

On the way we call to the Middle Child. "I'm up." is the reply and he seems to be in the process. His legs are on the side of his bed and he is contemplating his shorts.

Next stop is the Oldest... "Wake up!" No answer. "Wake UPPPP!" Nothing. "Mama, do you need me to go jump on him? I'll get him up. I can't believe he's not excited. I'm excited. I can't wait to see my teacher. I can't wait to see my friends. Are you sure you don't want me to--" I interrupt, "WAKE UP! DON'T MAKE ME COME UP THERE! DON'T YOU MAKE US LATE ON THE FIRST DAY BACK!"

Youngest is quiet long enough after my outburst that I hear a thud-a -thump-thud-thump from the upstairs room. This usually means he has emerged from bed or he has fallen out one or the other. I hear him trudge down the stairs to brush his teeth and I am reassured that, whatever the case, he will survive.

We make it to school on time; earlier than I had imagined possible. They all leave me to go to their class rooms. One more year off to a typical start. I have my pictures to prove it to all my friends. I got all three there and they even smiled for a picture.

On the way home I got to thinking about their individual reactions today. It occurred to me that the oldest, the one that had been doing it the longest, was the hardest to get excited this morning. My middle child was reluctant, but he didn't take much prodding to get up and dressed. The youngest was excited. She was ready. She was eager. She hadn't discovered that it isn't cool to be excited about school. She still posed for pictures and hugged her teachers. She was on fire for school. Summer vacation didn't steal her joy. It didn't lure her away from her excitement about school.

Well, this got me to thinking about my own spiritual life (and other peoples spiritual lives). When I got saved I was ON FIRE for Jesus. Much like my youngest was excited about school. I read my Bible every day. I bought a Teen Devos book and read that every day. I studied my Sunday School lesson. I spent time with God in prayer every night and most mornings. I was excited about my new life as a Child of Christ.

Years have passed and as I look back I can see years that I have spent that I was less enthusiastic. Christianity seemed to me like the upper grades seem to my older kids. I wasn't bouncing out of bed on Sunday morning. I went from attending every other Sunday to not attending at all. I went on a spiritual summer vacation...I lost my enthusiasm for Jesus. I was still saved but I had let the world steal my excitement during my break from my church. It was the same with my kids. They all love school but they had let the summer break steal their excitement too. 

It took years for me to get back into a church family after I lost the excitement. Thankfully I have found my way back. The thing is, with the church comes the excitement. Just like when my kids got to school today and they saw all their friends, they came home with stories of their day and what everyone had been up to. I leave church and I am on fire again; just like I was when I was younger. The people encourage me. The people nurture my faith. The pastor leads me. God speaks to me when I am there. I feel his presence. 

Sure, I feel Him in my life other times, but I'm more in tune with Him when I have surrounded myself with people that know Him and crave His presence. I'm more confident to share His good news with people when I have been reaffirmed and reassured in a regular meeting with other believers. 

I guess what I'm saying is don't grow tired of your education in Christ. Remember that first grade feeling, remember that new believer feeling. Remember how you wanted to shout to the rooftops that you were a saved believer in the one true Christ. Keep going to regular meetings with other believers to reaffirm your faith. Keep the joy in your heart. Jesus loves you.... What do you have to be sad about?

 "Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity."

1 Timothy 4:12