I'm torn.
Life as a "Mommy Blogger" might be "just fine." But somehow I want more.... I'm drawn to be the political blogger, the religious blogger, the family blogger and the comedic blogger. I just don't know which blogger I want to be right now.
So I choose to be ALL bloggers. You don't know what you will get with me. I'm like that in real life too for those of you that know me.
Which brings to mind the fact that, not all of you know me. Not all of you know me. I'm a stranger. So let me tell you a thing or two about me.... (see below)
I'm Heddy (aka Heather). I've had that nickname as long as I can remember. When I was a little girl I stayed with my Granny a lot. Granny was my mother's mother. She lived in an apartment adjacent to our house. I could tap on my bedroom wall and she would tap back anytime I needed her. We had our own form of Morse Code.
When I wasn't tapping on my wall I was at her house. She kept her fridge stocked with soda's and candy bars. She kept her bread box stocked with bacon cheddar fries, cheeze-n-crackers and more candy bars. We never wanted for junk-food when we were at granny's house. This is probably the reason I can be a Curvy Girl Blogger as well.
Am I still confused about my identity? You would think that by now I would know who I am. Maybe I'm a healthcare blogger.... no.... I've been out of that for a while. I don't feel like i should alienate my self with the 'mommy blog' title. I just don't know yet what describes me.
I am an almost 32 year old mother of three blogger. You can do the math. My oldest is almost 14 years old. He's an angel. Maybe I could be the teenage mother success story blogger. I had my second child two years later... Maybe that makes me the "I'm on the fast track to life blogger." My third child is a feisty curly headed product of my second marriage. She keeps me on my toes and she WILL be the cause of ALL my gray hairs. Maybe that makes me a mommy daughter blogger, or try for second love blogger. I could also review netflix selections for a blog, or maybe just write about how I longed for a vacation home.
But that doesn't really tell who I am either. That tells the mommy blog followers who I am. I am also a registered nurse. I worked hard for that title despite the fact that my marriage was falling apart at the time. I'm a stay at home mom now. I worked hard for that title too. It's an achievement in my opinion. I found a husband who could support my ambitions to be able to stay at home and raise my kids. I know at any moment I can go back to work. I also know that, if the opportunity presents itself I can run for office. I can go back to school, I can teach school, I can do WHATEVER I want to do right now. I graciously thank my husband for that and I'm not ashamed of being grateful.
First and Foremost I am a Christian, I'm opinionated, talented, creative, honest, intelligent, hard working, faithful, fair. All of that is by the grace of God. I'm also a civil rights advocate living in the middle of a civil rights battleground. I hope that I am fair minded and thoughtful when it comes to political issues. I am staunchly Libertarian as long as being Libertarian doesn't mean that I have to staunchly be anything. I am strongly opinionated in my beliefs whether you like them or not. I will agree with you as long as you successfully prove to me that you are right. I am not afraid to admit when I am wrong as long as I have been proven to be wrong.
I'm new to the blog-o-sphere but I can guarantee you that I will talk about my family. I will talk about my religion. I promise to talk about my political beliefs. I also promise to talk about any social/ethical/economic issues that come to mind. I'm not promising to be your favorite blog, but i promise that I will try.
I am me and only me and I hope that's enough for you.
Showing posts with label homemaker. Show all posts
Showing posts with label homemaker. Show all posts
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
The Big Stuff
Over the course of our marriage, which has been admittedly short, Jason and I have learned that it is best not to bring up certain politically charged topics. The reason for this is that we don't agree about everything. What???? you may ask. How can two people commit to each other when they don't agree completely on every political agenda?!? I'm gonna tell you... we agree to disagree. Yes... We AGREE to DISAGREE. You probably find it easy to scoff at that, but it's the truth. This doesn't mean we don't occasionally (or as often as the news cycles roll) argue about certain topics. We watch the news together frequently. The nightly news segment often ends with one or both of us saying "Time Out!". At that point we change the subject.... no questions asked.... we just change the subject to something else that we can agree on.
Now don't get me wrong. Jason and I are not political opposites by any means. We are both Conservative Christians. We agree on all the big big party defining stuff that conservatives pride themselves on. We both believe in the Bible first and foremost and above all else. Besides that, I label myself a Libertarian and he labels himself a Republican. On the majority of issues we tend to fall on the same side. If he would only agree with me, we would agree on ALL of the issues and be the perfect couple. But alas, he is too stubborn (aka wrong) to agree with me and i have to concede that, although I love him with all my heart, he just can't be right ALL of the time (ha!ha!).
We agree to disagree on these "big" issues in order to preserve our marriage. We step back from our arguments, we calm down, and we decide to love each other anyway (despite our stance on gun control or the death penalty). It took a LONG time and a WHOLE lot of prayer for us to get to this point. We used to stay up all night long and argue about this stuff. We finally realized, through prayer and meditation, that the big stuff didn't really matter. Now, before you close the webpage and dismiss my ideas, I ask you give me a minute to explain myself. I promise it won't take too much longer.
The big stuff doesn't matter. (exhale) What do we think is the big stuff??? All the stuff that makes national headlines outside of our personal relation ship is the BIG STUFF. It's the stuff that philosophers have debated for centuries. It's the stuff that you hear every time you tune into Fox News or CNN. In my opinion it's the stuff that doesn't affect my marriage at all.
So tonight, after only a little fussing about the Big Stuff, I got to thinking about the Little Stuff. I got to thinking about how he always leaves his shoes and pants next to his chair in the living room. I got to thinking about how he puts his wet towel on the floor next to his dresser instead of in the hamper. I also got to thinking about all the times he has had a smart comment about me leaving every cabinet door open in the kitchen, or me not putting the ketchup back in the fridge. He has just as many little things to get mad about as I do. And when we get mad about the big stuff those little things have a way of bubbling out too. That's what makes us really mad. That's the stuff that we throw in the argument that really hits under the belt. It's personal stuff. It's stuff that festers and lingers and turns into big stuff over time. We can be arguing for hours about whether or not guns should have longer waiting periods but the moment it gets personal, the moment he insults my housekeeping, or the moment I insult his work ethic, then it gets serious.
We talked about this with each other over the weekend. It actually came up because we were laughing over a facebook post that we saw that started out trivial but quickly got personal. How easy is it to get in arguments with people we haven't seen in four or five years? It's so easy to tell them what we think and either forget about it and move on, or cut them our of our lives (via internet) altogether. Jason and I have been discussing this a lot lately. How easy the "little things" get to us when we don't have to confront our 'friends' face to face, but how we let them slide when it's a friend that we do interact with.
We've been working on it in our own marriage as well. We've realized that we have gotten so good at looking over the big stuff that we have forgotten to overlook the little stuff. See, I believe that the little stuff is the stuff that destroys relationships. Irreconcilable differences are common. It takes irrevocable commitments to overcome those differences. The commitment to love one another, no matter what the other says or does, is the most holy and the most coveted commitment. Satan wants to make thos little things become big things. That's his job. He puts those little things under your pillow so that you think about them after your partner is asleep. Those little things destroy our marriages. Not many marriages have failed because of a debate on which political candidate to back. Marriages fail because of one spouse not emptying the dishwasher and because of another not calling to explain why he was late. It's the little stuff that destroys our marriages. I'm working on not letting the little stuff destroy my relationship. I'm trying to deploy our big stuff tactic on the little stuff... I'm gonna take a deep breath, love him, and move on... little stuff or big stuff. There's a million reasons I love him. Those reasons are way more important than those few things that get on my nerves. Little or Big, He's mine and I am his. We love each other first. And that's the really Big Stuff.
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8
Now don't get me wrong. Jason and I are not political opposites by any means. We are both Conservative Christians. We agree on all the big big party defining stuff that conservatives pride themselves on. We both believe in the Bible first and foremost and above all else. Besides that, I label myself a Libertarian and he labels himself a Republican. On the majority of issues we tend to fall on the same side. If he would only agree with me, we would agree on ALL of the issues and be the perfect couple. But alas, he is too stubborn (aka wrong) to agree with me and i have to concede that, although I love him with all my heart, he just can't be right ALL of the time (ha!ha!).
We agree to disagree on these "big" issues in order to preserve our marriage. We step back from our arguments, we calm down, and we decide to love each other anyway (despite our stance on gun control or the death penalty). It took a LONG time and a WHOLE lot of prayer for us to get to this point. We used to stay up all night long and argue about this stuff. We finally realized, through prayer and meditation, that the big stuff didn't really matter. Now, before you close the webpage and dismiss my ideas, I ask you give me a minute to explain myself. I promise it won't take too much longer.
The big stuff doesn't matter. (exhale) What do we think is the big stuff??? All the stuff that makes national headlines outside of our personal relation ship is the BIG STUFF. It's the stuff that philosophers have debated for centuries. It's the stuff that you hear every time you tune into Fox News or CNN. In my opinion it's the stuff that doesn't affect my marriage at all.
So tonight, after only a little fussing about the Big Stuff, I got to thinking about the Little Stuff. I got to thinking about how he always leaves his shoes and pants next to his chair in the living room. I got to thinking about how he puts his wet towel on the floor next to his dresser instead of in the hamper. I also got to thinking about all the times he has had a smart comment about me leaving every cabinet door open in the kitchen, or me not putting the ketchup back in the fridge. He has just as many little things to get mad about as I do. And when we get mad about the big stuff those little things have a way of bubbling out too. That's what makes us really mad. That's the stuff that we throw in the argument that really hits under the belt. It's personal stuff. It's stuff that festers and lingers and turns into big stuff over time. We can be arguing for hours about whether or not guns should have longer waiting periods but the moment it gets personal, the moment he insults my housekeeping, or the moment I insult his work ethic, then it gets serious.
We talked about this with each other over the weekend. It actually came up because we were laughing over a facebook post that we saw that started out trivial but quickly got personal. How easy is it to get in arguments with people we haven't seen in four or five years? It's so easy to tell them what we think and either forget about it and move on, or cut them our of our lives (via internet) altogether. Jason and I have been discussing this a lot lately. How easy the "little things" get to us when we don't have to confront our 'friends' face to face, but how we let them slide when it's a friend that we do interact with.
We've been working on it in our own marriage as well. We've realized that we have gotten so good at looking over the big stuff that we have forgotten to overlook the little stuff. See, I believe that the little stuff is the stuff that destroys relationships. Irreconcilable differences are common. It takes irrevocable commitments to overcome those differences. The commitment to love one another, no matter what the other says or does, is the most holy and the most coveted commitment. Satan wants to make thos little things become big things. That's his job. He puts those little things under your pillow so that you think about them after your partner is asleep. Those little things destroy our marriages. Not many marriages have failed because of a debate on which political candidate to back. Marriages fail because of one spouse not emptying the dishwasher and because of another not calling to explain why he was late. It's the little stuff that destroys our marriages. I'm working on not letting the little stuff destroy my relationship. I'm trying to deploy our big stuff tactic on the little stuff... I'm gonna take a deep breath, love him, and move on... little stuff or big stuff. There's a million reasons I love him. Those reasons are way more important than those few things that get on my nerves. Little or Big, He's mine and I am his. We love each other first. And that's the really Big Stuff.
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Loads of Laundry and Loads of Prayer
This is a post from a month or so ago.... I got so much feedback on it i thought I would share here too. Enjoy!
I got angry tonight. It happens to all of us sometimes, I know. I also had one of those moments where God pretty much turns me on my head and shakes the anger from my soul, but I will get to that part in a minute.
It all started with laundry. I HATE doing laundry. Well tonight I cooked a big ole supper, one of those that messes up every single dish that I own. After I sat down to eat I remembered that I hadn't put Emily's sheets in the dryer. So, i put my plate aside and go to the dreaded laundry room. My laundry room is my deep dark secret. I don't mind washing the clothes. Heck, I don't even mind putting them in the dryer. It's the part after that that I can't stand. So, sometimes, maybe once or twice a month (especially around vacations or holidays) the clothes will make it out of the dryer and no further. At this point they seem to call all of their laundry buddies and have a big ole party just outside of my dryer. Tonight they had attracted many friends... about six loads worth. All those clothes and I still had to put Emily's sheets into the dryer. This meant that I would have to pull yet one more load of clean stuff out of the dryer and let them join the party. So I do that (what's one more load) and go back to the kitchen to retrieve my cold plate.
By this time Emily and Jason have finished and their plates are stacked next to the sink. Not in the sink, no, that would make too much sense. Almost as much sense as in the dishwasher, but that's a different story. So I quickly eat my meal and immediately start cleaning all the dishes. No help from the husband, or the daughter, my boys are in MS, but had they been here they probably wouldn't have helped either (grumble grumble grumble). I put the last plate in the dishwasher and it's time for Em's bath. I wrangle her into the bath tub. I have to get her a towel out of the laundry party cause there aren't any in her room. While she's bathing I remember her sheets and pull them out of the dryer and put them back on her bed. In the mean time I find yet another load throughout the house and i put them on to wash.
After Emily is in the bed and Husband is watching some show about surviving in the wild (how would he survive without three shirts a day?), I go to the laundry party and bust it up. I'm grumbling, and fussing, and fuming. And then I pick up one of Sam's shirts. It's not a special one but it's one that he wears a good bit. I stop and say a prayer for him, and hope that the next time that he wears this shirt that he has a good day. I pick up the next item, one of Emily's dresses that she has worn so much it has holes in it and I laugh and fold it carefully. LAUGH??? But I'm still angry, no time for laughing and praying and sentimental folding..... i fold some towels and bath cloths (they're easy) and then dig back in. I find some of Jason's grease stained work clothes. I thank God that he has a job and that he provides for us. A pair of Nolan's jeans with grass stains (thank goodness he can run and play and slide in the grass), Emily's shirt with a chocolate stain (thankful that we have so much food that we even have dessert), And it starts coming easier and easier...
I'm praising God for each piece of laundry and praying for each person in my family that it belongs to. Before I know it, all those clothes are put away and I'm not angry anymore. In fact, I'm happy, and grateful. What a silly problem to have too many clothes when others don't have a warm shirt to wear. How silly to complain about putting clean clothes away when others long for clean clothes. Like I said, God shook the anger right out of me and replaced it with all these praises. He's good about that. I'm writing this so that next time it piles up maybe i will remember to be thankful instead of angry.
"My dearly loved brothers, understand this: Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for man’s anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness. Therefore, ridding yourselves of all moral filth and evil, humbly receive the implanted word, which is able to save you." James 1:19-21
I got angry tonight. It happens to all of us sometimes, I know. I also had one of those moments where God pretty much turns me on my head and shakes the anger from my soul, but I will get to that part in a minute.
It all started with laundry. I HATE doing laundry. Well tonight I cooked a big ole supper, one of those that messes up every single dish that I own. After I sat down to eat I remembered that I hadn't put Emily's sheets in the dryer. So, i put my plate aside and go to the dreaded laundry room. My laundry room is my deep dark secret. I don't mind washing the clothes. Heck, I don't even mind putting them in the dryer. It's the part after that that I can't stand. So, sometimes, maybe once or twice a month (especially around vacations or holidays) the clothes will make it out of the dryer and no further. At this point they seem to call all of their laundry buddies and have a big ole party just outside of my dryer. Tonight they had attracted many friends... about six loads worth. All those clothes and I still had to put Emily's sheets into the dryer. This meant that I would have to pull yet one more load of clean stuff out of the dryer and let them join the party. So I do that (what's one more load) and go back to the kitchen to retrieve my cold plate.
By this time Emily and Jason have finished and their plates are stacked next to the sink. Not in the sink, no, that would make too much sense. Almost as much sense as in the dishwasher, but that's a different story. So I quickly eat my meal and immediately start cleaning all the dishes. No help from the husband, or the daughter, my boys are in MS, but had they been here they probably wouldn't have helped either (grumble grumble grumble). I put the last plate in the dishwasher and it's time for Em's bath. I wrangle her into the bath tub. I have to get her a towel out of the laundry party cause there aren't any in her room. While she's bathing I remember her sheets and pull them out of the dryer and put them back on her bed. In the mean time I find yet another load throughout the house and i put them on to wash.
After Emily is in the bed and Husband is watching some show about surviving in the wild (how would he survive without three shirts a day?), I go to the laundry party and bust it up. I'm grumbling, and fussing, and fuming. And then I pick up one of Sam's shirts. It's not a special one but it's one that he wears a good bit. I stop and say a prayer for him, and hope that the next time that he wears this shirt that he has a good day. I pick up the next item, one of Emily's dresses that she has worn so much it has holes in it and I laugh and fold it carefully. LAUGH??? But I'm still angry, no time for laughing and praying and sentimental folding..... i fold some towels and bath cloths (they're easy) and then dig back in. I find some of Jason's grease stained work clothes. I thank God that he has a job and that he provides for us. A pair of Nolan's jeans with grass stains (thank goodness he can run and play and slide in the grass), Emily's shirt with a chocolate stain (thankful that we have so much food that we even have dessert), And it starts coming easier and easier...
I'm praising God for each piece of laundry and praying for each person in my family that it belongs to. Before I know it, all those clothes are put away and I'm not angry anymore. In fact, I'm happy, and grateful. What a silly problem to have too many clothes when others don't have a warm shirt to wear. How silly to complain about putting clean clothes away when others long for clean clothes. Like I said, God shook the anger right out of me and replaced it with all these praises. He's good about that. I'm writing this so that next time it piles up maybe i will remember to be thankful instead of angry.
"My dearly loved brothers, understand this: Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for man’s anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness. Therefore, ridding yourselves of all moral filth and evil, humbly receive the implanted word, which is able to save you." James 1:19-21
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